Player Plot: How to Get Away With Moo-der

[singlemilletgrain]

Who: Shu, cows, and you
What: Udder cowtastrophe
Where: Farmlands outside of Elysium
When: Mid-month
Warnings: Animal cruelty



As the farmer plods away to resume tending his fields, Shu shakes her head with a frown and addresses her companion. "That is the fourth farmer this week to report a missing herd of livestock. These aren't small losses, either. It is unimaginable that they simply vanished off the face of the earth."

Not coincidentally, Shu is currently seated atop her own oxen, who is placidly chewing on some grains underfoot.

"Let us examine the pasture. He said there were numerous markings he could not make sense of. These disappearances will be catastrophic for the small farmer if they continue and have a lasting ripple effect on the supply chain of meat. Not just for the Corsairs."

She nudges He Sheng with her ankles.

Comments

[purplexing]

"That's...odd," Donnie muses as he carefully picks up one of the pieces for study. A broken stone, but what was the purpose? He picks up the pieces, mostly out of habit of hating to leave anything that can still potentially be useful.

"Not sure what this could be for," he says as he glances back towards Shu. "Make anything out from those footprints?"

[singlemilletgrain]

"I am not an investigator, I admit. It is difficult to tell how many people were here - you see, these are all the same kind of footprint. At least, I can tell there are at minimum, three different sizes. It does seem to suggest a uniform."

She moves on to the broken wire fence. It is difficult to make anything in particular of this clue and it is, indeed, expected, but...

"Does it look to you like this was a moving vehicle impact?"

If it were a large truck driving through, she would expect the fence to be thrown forwards and the posts clearly angled in the direction of the force. Instead, it seems more as if it were... crushed.

[purplexing]

"Uniform...?" The turtlekin's brow furrows at that, not liking the implications. He looks at the imprints, but boots aren't something he ever exclusively paid attention to.

He looks over to where Shu has moved before going over to join her, looking around at he ground before the space in question. "If it were a vehicle then there should be even more obvious tracks from that..." he suggests, once again pulling his goggles down.

[singlemilletgrain]

"Oh -- of course. How clever you are."

Having completely failed to think of the obvious, Shu looks at Donnie with admiration and resists the urge to give a kindly head pat. There are indeed no tire tracks of any kind, nor any other sign that something passed through the fence. As Shu says, it seems more as if it were smashed by something landing on top of it.

Donnie's goggles, if capable of some magnification, will find some evidence of painted wooden splinters scraped on the fence posts.

[purplexing]

A pat on the head would have definitely offset the little bubble of pride at her compliment. Donnie thankfully doesn't notice whatever sort of thoughts Shu might be trying to suppress as he studies the broken fence.

"Huh. Is this from the fence or...remnant of whatever broke this thing?" he frowns, adjusting his lenses again. He slowly stands again, almost falling over as looking around with magnified vision is quite disorienting until he nudges his goggles up again.

[singlemilletgrain]

"Is what from the fence?"

Shu observes, supporting him before he teeters over. When he is steady, she peers closely until she feels almost cross-eyed.

"The rest of the fence is unpigmented. It must be from whatever caused this damage. Excellent eyes."

Shu will take a little of the splinters and save it in her robes. The next clue is something she absolutely cannot make heads nor tails of. ...Though she supposes she has not brought her full investigative powers to bear (she refuses to lick it). The liquid resembles oil in general appearance, though it is a strange mixture of various pieces, some clumpy, that renders it more akin to a sort of sludge.

"This is..."

[purplexing]

It doesn't take him long to steady himself, and he's mindful not to put his goggles down again when they're still set for inspecting things at a closer range. Donnie tilts his head as Shu finds something else, stooping down by the wet substance. He is definitely not licking anything.

He does however take a sniff before lowering his goggles again. "Gross, what is this stuff..." He really doesn't want to touch anything potentially questionable but he does carry vials he usually has on hand for plant specimens.

[singlemilletgrain]

There is a possibility, if Donnie has worked with engines previously, that he recognizes some part of this strange amalgamation of fluids. Otherwise, Shu will allow Donnie the space he needs to obtain a sample of the gunk. She has nothing she can add in particular besides 'ew,' which she will refrain from voicing aloud.

The final item she rubs between her fingers as she plucks the strands away from the plants.

"This is probably some sort of clothing fiber. My brother would be able to identify what it came from."

But agriculture was her specialty, not weaving. Still, the dark color is familiar enough that she thinks she can make an educated guess.

Investigation End. In her mind, she can only really make much sense of two of the items she has discovered, but they point her in a fairly clear direction.

"This is the same color as the uniforms of standard Empire soldiers. I can't imagine farmers or thieves would wear identical shoes, either. I think the Empire is involved."

[purplexing]

Donnie's well familiar with engines, and the quick hint of a particular scent is the only reason he dares dip a fingertip into it, making a face. "Well...it seems there was some sort of machinery used here but I'm still not sure to what end..."

He wipes his fingers on the grass, looking over at whatever Shu had found. The suggestion that there are indeed Imperials involved here brings a sour look upon his face.

"Great! Just. Great. Why am I not surprised that the Empire is possibly making off with resources that they likely figure belong to them anyway?"

[singlemilletgrain]

"It may be because of the recent battle."

Shu responds quietly.

"If they used up a fair number of resources to send those fleets into battle, they wouldn't think twice about taking them from these farmers. Easier to simply do it in the dark of night. That means we should look into slaughterhouses in this area. Perhaps even the same slaughterhouses that the farmers would sell to under normal conditions."

She seems to take it for granted that they are Liberating the Cows. With enough cogitation, Donnie may recognize the gunk as sludge produced as a byproduct of the engines used alongside ether crystals to power Empire airships.

[purplexing]

"...." That suggestion makes Donnie quickly sober, looking back at the traces in this grim light.

"With how open the land is out here, it wouldn't be too difficult to maneuver an airship, and there are different sized ones for varying purposes. If I'm guessing right, that would explain what happened to the fence here if they just landed an airship here to round up the cattle."

He frowns again, stepping back to turn and once again have a look at the area, trying to see if the flattened space would match with what he's seen of airships.

[singlemilletgrain]

It would be a smaller model, but the shape of the flattened area does look like it matches the bottom curves of a ship. Additionally, the area where the earth has been scoured would match the general appearance of an anchor being used to guide the descent of the aircraft.

Shu blinks at this deduction and takes a few steps back, surveying the area herself.

"An airship... and so they simply disappear into the night. Frighteningly simple. And if they are accustomed to transporting herds for slaughter, anyway, they would know how to handle the livestock. That does broaden our search range considerably."

[purplexing]

"Ugh, if it's not one thing it's another," Donnie grumbles bitterly. "Wouldn't be surprised if they're old hands at this. Given how 'mysterious' and quick these disappearances are made out to be speaks of their efficiency."

The turtlekin looks skyward as though there'd be any trails left to follow, but even whatever vapor trails might be left from an airship would have probably dissipated by now.

"...maybe they have their own land somewhere on Innistis. Probably still close to Elysium. Like you said, hide a herd in plain sight- who's going to question how their numbers have doubled if they don't know about it? And even if they did, they know there'd be consequences for even suggesting anything to the Imperials."

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu furrows her brow, her mind searching for a potential approach. "This may be more complex than we hoped. A search by air would make the most sense - but I doubt we will be able to secure the necessary permissions very quickly, and by then..."

The cows would be mincemeat. (Literally.)

"Should we report back to the farmer with o -- "

Shu is interrupted by a truly deafening 'moo' from He Sheng that almost knocks her off her feet.

"He Sheng! What are you -- "

In the far distance, there comes an echoing 'moo' in response. He Sheng quickly trots (for what passes as a trot for an ox) away in that direction, leaving Shu somewhat dumbfounded.

[purplexing]

Donnie begins to nod, both at how much more complicated things would be if they had to make use of air support and that they probably should at the very least tell the farmer what they'd found. He jolts at the sudden lowing from their resident cattle friend. His earmuffs are definitely useful for more than just muting the sounds at the Vault and airship noise but WOW.

"-Uh. I think your ox might've found something?" he guesses, watching as He Sheng leaves them. Theyyyyy should probably follow, he thinks, starting after him.

[singlemilletgrain]

"But -- "

Shu is not surprised very frequently. This is highly unusual behavior for her cow son, and she isn't quite sure what to do about it. Shu picks up her robes and somewhat undignifiedly jogs after He Sheng and Donnie. He Sheng heads directly through some open fields initially before banking sharply right into a small grove of trees with colors beginning to turn ochre and crimson with the fall foliage. Throughout, He Sheng and the mystery ox exchange speech, leading to something that might be construed as...

"Cowsong?"

A new genre of music, only for the true audiophile.

He Sheng forges ahead and disappears behind some brush. Sticking her face through, Shu is startled to find a perfectly circular clearing with dappled sunlight gleaming through the tree branches, highlighting a figure inside...

"Oh! They missed one."

A beautiful, pure-white ox with a gleaming pelt and horns that almost look golden in the sunlight. Shu half-opens her mouth, then pauses, a bit puzzled. Oxen weren't usually kept with dairy or meat cows.

[purplexing]

Definitely not to Donnie's tastes, not that he's had much chance to develop any appreciation for music and techno and dubstep are likely not going to be discovered here any time soon.

"He's definitely communicating with someone..." At least that's his guess? Cow-location? He is definitely not a livestock expert.

"Whoa..."

And expert though he may not be, he can fully appreciate an excellently placed scene set.

[singlemilletgrain]

She looks at Donnie, vaguely perplexed, before giving a small shrug and stepping out from the brush. The ox immediately turns its soulful gaze upon her. Meanwhile, He Sheng's duty is done, and he idly begins to eat a leaf off a bush before spitting it out immediately.

"Well... You must be very brave, escaping those terrible Imperials. Come."

She rummages around and comes up with an apple that she offers to the white ox. ...It stares at her with placid eyes before lumbering forth and very gently chomping down. Shu tentatively gives it a pat.

"I think it's friendly. Here."

She gives Donnie another apple to offer.

[purplexing]

Donnie meanwhile remains where he is, just at the edge of the clearing like he's afraid to disturb it. He makes a mildly disgusted face as He Sheng goes back to doing typical ox things. At least the bush doesn't look like anything he knows to be poisonous around Elysium's wilderness.

"Uh..." And now he has an apple in his hand. The most animal interaction he's ever had is with his brothers, so he gives a very hesitant look at the ox as he eases into the clearing. He holds the apple out to the shiny ox, looking very unsure about it.

[singlemilletgrain]

The white ox redirects its attention to Donnie as the second apple changes hands and locks eyes with the turtlekin. In the depths of its limpid brown eyes, Donnie can see eternity... An infinite realm of green pastures, where the mild spring sun never fades and a light breeze blows and cowtentment is never far from hand. Acres and acres of grasses and grains, where faceless beings give head pats and back rubs, and the calves frolic and roll through the fields. One might call this heaven or nirvana or even mootopia. Time is endless and all is one and there is no meaning in human suffering.

Then the white ox clamps onto Donnie up to his forearm,

"Um."

lowers its head and flips Donnie up onto its back in one smooth motion,

"Donnie!"

grabs Shu by the collar of her clothing,

and ascends upwards as if galloping up a flight of invisible stairs until they are soaring through the skies at a pace far faster than a cow should be able to run.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ------------ "

[purplexing]

What. What. Donnie's still trying to decipher what he's just seen because surely he must be hallucinating, there's certainly no logical explanation otherwise, too much sun, too much cow, did he remember to hydra-

ROASTEDBOVINES IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME ALIVE-

Although it is oddly not very painful, gross, definitely- the world is abruptly sent off kilter before he can remember to scream, his breath interrupted with the impact of something simultaneously hard and fuzzy. He gasps and then very nearly bites off his tongue as the oxen lurches towards the sky- wait WHAT

"OhhhhmygaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH--!!!!"

[mootopia]

"Mooo?"

Far, far below, He Sheng glances up as Niu Da Ge flies off with Mistress and Sad Green One. A brief flicker of concern flashes through his bovine mind before he decides that it's probably all fine. Mistress should get a better grip, though. She isn't very secu -- oh was that an acorn? Mistress didn't usually want him eating those, but since she was gone now...

Oh, right, acorns didn't taste very good and also were hard on his teeth. He Sheng spits it out and sniffs at two apples that are lying on the ground for some reason instead.

Ahh... must be a boon from Niu Da Ge.

Delicious... Sweet... Yum...

[translators' note: niu da ge means 'big cow brother']

[singlemilletgrain]

Far, far above, Shu is still screaming, though it's progressed to a sort of breathless squeak at this point. She is hanging by her collar from the white ox's jaws, and although it seemed to have taken care to be gentle, the ground would certainly be less gentle when her clothes tore and she plummeted to her doom. She didn't especially want to test if she could dissolve her corporeal form right now. So it is that she ends up wrapping her arms and legs around the white ox's front leg and burying her face in its flank.

"Donnie? ...Are you alive?"

This is a very subdued-sounding Shu. Or at least, it would be, if she weren't screaming to be heard over the rush of wind.

[purplexing]

They eventually reach some sort of threshold, a point where everything feels the same although that sameness is an odd weightlessness accompanied by the rush of wind.

Donnie had stopped screaming at some point, running out of breath and figuring it would just be more exhausting to keep it up. He cracks open an eye, seeing nothing but open sky and clouds and maybe if he squinted, a glimpse of the ground somewhere far below.

"Wow..." he whispers, the word torn away instantly by the wind. He carefully lifts his head, even as he remains clinging to the oxen's back. Definitely not the most ideal way to ride, not wrapped over its back with arms on one side and legs dangling over the other. It does make clinging tricky, and falling off without a glider does not sound at all appealing. But...there's something exhilarating about it all. The rush of the air around them, the sheer speed they were somehow traveling. It might not make sense but it's tickling his adrenaline in a completely different way than on missions.

This is...kind of fun.

A weird sort of smile's touched his face, like he's actually experienced some strange nirvana or whatever one might call it. And then he blinks, catching Shu's voice. Oh crap, he hadn't even realized she was there!

"Shu-? Yeah, I'm- Hang on-" Oh yeah, brilliant words there, Donnie, seeing as how little choice she seems to have.

The turtlekin tries to steady himself, carefully bringing one arm to the side his legs are while attempting to swing a leg over so he can at least be in a better position to face Shu. Guh, cows feel weird. He holds a hand out towards her.

"Can you grab on?"

[singlemilletgrain]

Well, glad somebody's having fun!... is exactly what Shu might think, except unsarcastically, as she is so annoyingly selfless that this would be her last thought before flattening into a pancake at 9.8m/s^2. Given she doesn't know the thoughts running through Donnie's head, the best she can manage right now is faint relief that their positions aren't switched. She manages to peel her face away from the cow's front side for long enough to squint up at Donnie through the fur.

"...I think I will only succeed in pulling you off the ox. Please hold tight. I will be fine."

This is spoken in such an uneven tone that not even Shu finds it convincing. She changes the subject instead.

"Can you tell where we're headed?"

Unspoken: and how much longer I might have to do this for. The scenery, as Donnie rightfully notes, is indeed breathtaking. They've both been on an airship, but there's something exhilarating about being surrounded by nothing but a sheer drop on all sides. Just the rushing wind and the tiny toybox landmarks down below. Miles and miles of farmland interspersed with lush forest, colors dappled with the autumn leaves. The lights and spectacle of Elysium to their right, the sea behind them.

But if he were to follow their trajectory in a straight line... they seem to be headed towards a grim, unaesthetic metallic box of a building up in the distance.