Player Plot: How to Get Away With Moo-der

[singlemilletgrain]

Who: Shu, cows, and you
What: Udder cowtastrophe
Where: Farmlands outside of Elysium
When: Mid-month
Warnings: Animal cruelty



As the farmer plods away to resume tending his fields, Shu shakes her head with a frown and addresses her companion. "That is the fourth farmer this week to report a missing herd of livestock. These aren't small losses, either. It is unimaginable that they simply vanished off the face of the earth."

Not coincidentally, Shu is currently seated atop her own oxen, who is placidly chewing on some grains underfoot.

"Let us examine the pasture. He said there were numerous markings he could not make sense of. These disappearances will be catastrophic for the small farmer if they continue and have a lasting ripple effect on the supply chain of meat. Not just for the Corsairs."

She nudges He Sheng with her ankles.

Comments

[singlemilletgrain]

The cows have no such qualms about starting things with strange green creatures trying to infiltrate their herd, but the agitated creatures will, at least, avoid trampling him. They do eventually move away, leaving a bit of an open path for Donnie to navigate - and for him to stand out.

"Eh -- "

The one closer to Shu, coincidentally, turns in that direction a second before the spinning baton smashes him in the head. The sharp grunt catches the second worker's attention, spinning him around and leaving his back exposed for Donnie to land precisely on his back. Shu, having rushed forward with her shield the moment she threw her rod, sets upon her target and quickly stuffs a wad of plant debris into his mouth as a gag, pulling his arms up behind him.

[purplexing]

Wow, that could've been embarrassing.

Donnie's saved the experience, landing forcefully enough to pitch the other worker flat on his face. He makes a quick move to subdue them before they recover, then grins over at Shu now that he has a clear view of her, giving a thumbs-up.

Like as they'd have to deal with whoever's inside next, if they're waiting for the cows to be mooved.

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu doesn't have rope handy, but there's more than one way to utilize 'super plant growth.' The vines she uses to tie her victim are secure enough that she feels they will hold for the duration of their quest. Panting slightly in exertion, she moves to join Donnie.

"That went s-moo-thly."

(Two can play at that game.)

The cows have begun to calm down as they congregate. They seem to sense that the source of their pain has been removed, and that these two newcomers are responsible. One of them, of course, tentatively begins to try to lick Donnie from behind.

"Up to the airship or inside?"

[purplexing]

Donnie gives her an obligatory groan at that, unable to ignore the pang of nostalgia for the reminder of one of his brothers. Leo certainly wouldn't have passed up any chance to drop a terrible pun or a joke.

He's not quite sure he's thankful for the form of distraction it comes in, shuddering at the wetness suddenly applied to him. "Eeeugh, whyyy?" he grimaces, scrambling away from the cow and closer to Shu.

Trying to get a good look past the forest of cattle limbs, the turtlekin considers. "Inside. Let's see if there's any more. And if there isn't, maybe we can set the place on fire as a distraction." There might have been just the slightest hint of a manic grin as he makes that suggestion.

[singlemilletgrain]

"They like you."

Soon Donnie will be accepted as an honorary cowkin. There is a bit of shuffling as the various cows begin to form a sort of semi-circle around their two saviors, and if Donnie doesn't allow a little 'aww' to escape when a tiny calf pops its head out from the circle to gaze up at him with adoring, enormous soft eyes, he does not deserve the title of Libullerator. (That is their title now.)

"No fire."

...

"One fire. A small one. We can't just leave a whole building burning in the middle of grassy farmland."

It's irresponsible. Shu gives the calf a little pat before taking up her scepter and shield once more. They should probably hurry. Eventually, someone will notice something is wrong.

The entry for cow-processing is... grim. As they make their way inside, they will be met with stark fluorescent lights and what amounts to a chute that eventually narrows into a one-cow path. A large steel grate is drawn down over this path blocking entrance to the next room... though it coincidentally begins to raise as they enter.

Shu glances around for somewhere to hide.

...There isn't really anything suitable, given this is a... road to death.

[purplexing]

"Do they have to be so wet about it?" Donnie huffs. He blinks in surprise at the miniature cow that appears (baby, it's a baby, Donnie), taking a moment to process this phenomenon. Unfortunately he's not the sort to 'aww' at anything, that is majorly a Mikey thing, but he at the very least offers a very awkward head pat.

He almost pouts as his fire plan is shut down, but a small fire is better than none, and he supposes it wouldn't do to cause something so big that it might spread outwards, so he nods his agreement there.

Once they're inside, he almost regrets it. It's really creepy in here, more so when you know what this place means for cattle. As the grate begins to rise, Donnie gasps, also casting a quick look around before he grabs Shu's hand to pull her towards the grate itself, meaning to jump up onto it and catch a lift.

[singlemilletgrain]

This is a better plan than anything Shu thought of in the last five microseconds, although she's not entirely convinced it's a good plan. Still, there is no helping it. Stepping up her pace, she leaps alongside Donnie to cling to the metal grate as it ratchets upwards. There isn't much by the way of handholds - she finds herself clinging with all four limbs as if she were some sort of poorly evolved gecko.

As the grate slowly grinds to a halt, there is a moment of silence.

"...Where're all the livestock?"

Beneath them, a few workers in smocks peer out through the opening. One carries what looks like a firearm and all three are wearing masks. The thick scent of blood wafts out.

"Maybe they're having trouble herding 'em."

"Probably about as good as herding cows as they are flying airships."

"Shut up, Joe. They're literally right outside."

"I'm just saying. Takes a real genius to overload an ether crystal."

Which just about explains the shards Donnie found earlier.

"If they hear y -- "

The question of what will happen if they hear Joe goes unanswered as Shu's grip loosens and she slides down the grate, landing with a thump on Joe's head and sending his firearm spinning into the corner. The remaining two factory workers shriek.

[purplexing]

Donnie seems more used to clinging to weird places, but it's hard to properly brace yourself on a surface like this, and he doesn't want to risk using his magic to provide them better holds knowing it isn't exactly subtle.

He also tries not to be sick as that all too familiar smell follows the workers. Instead he tries to focus on what they're saying, waiting for a good chance...

Shu beats him to it, whether on purpose or by accident, who knows, but Donnie is quick to follow suit, pushing off slightly so that he can land between the other two workers to deliver silencing blows before they can figure out what's going on.

[singlemilletgrain]

Yes. That was definitely on purpose. Absolutely. It isn't just that she slid down ungracefully as her hands started sweating like a snail oozing down its own secretions. That didn't happen.

Shu looks briefly dazed as Joe yells inarticulately from beneath her voluminous robes. As she struggles into a less vulnerable position, she takes care to keep him pinned down, keeping her weight squarely on his back. The other two workers don't stand a chance as Donnie whips them in the head, sending them crashing to the floor.

"Be quiet. How many more of you are there?"

"H-Hundreds! You'll never get away with... whatever it is you're trying to get away with!"

"...Then you are disposable. We will flay your carcass as an example."

"I-It's just five of us processing people plus the Empire goons. I dunno how many there are but they're upstairs fixing the airship."

[purplexing]

"Hundreds..." Donnie snorts, giving a menacing spin of his staff. He gives a malicious grin to help underline Shu's threat.

"Ah, repairs. How bad was the damage?" Clearly the ship had still been able to fly with its load, but an overloaded ether stone is never any good. He's not sure if this guy knows enough about airships to give a good estimation of the damage, but he'd rather find out such things now than later if possible.

"There any other cattle we should know about that are still alive, or are the herds outside all?"

[singlemilletgrain]

"Uh." For all his criticism of the Empire, Joe does not appear to know much about airships. "Think there was some damage to the engine when the crystal cracked so they went on backup power." This seems to be as specific as he's getting.

"Dude..."

Joe's face pops up from beneath Shu.

"This is a meat processing plant. They're, uh."

He tries to give a shrug with his face that conveys, 'just doing my job' and also 'don't flay my carcass.' Shu sighs lightly.

Now they have returned to ground level, they can see through the opening beyond the grate. It is... relatively clean, although it doesn't seem as if the stains can ever be completely removed. The pathway that the cows are brought down lead to a final, small enclosure, beyond which are many rows of hooks currently absent any carcasses.

"...Last batch's already gone out on the trucks."

[purplexing]

"Hmm." That sounded bad. Donnie can't be sure without having a look himself, but if the ship had only returned recently then engine repairs varied depending on how severe. Running on a backup isn't ideal for long distances, but maybe it would suffice given the size of the ship? So many things to consider...

His attention is pulled back to Joe before drifting down the tunnel of death, brow furrowing at this latest bit of information. Well, there's nothing to be done for that... He looks back towards Shu.

"Let's take care of him and then get ourselves an airship."

[singlemilletgrain]

"W-W-WAIT!"

It is possible Shu is feeling some liquid seeping out from beneath her, which she tries very hard to ignore. (She does bunch up her clothing a little bit.)

"I-I... I have v-valuable information! I, uh... I know -- who, uh. The sixth Emperor's favorite concubine was and -- the only state in the southern continent that has the letter Q and -- I have a family! ...I mean, it's my mom and dad; I'm not married, but I could be there's this girl at this bakery and she has brown hair and she -- she doesn't know my name yet but sometimes I think she looks at me for a little longer than --"

"O...kay."

Shu leans over, removes his shoes and socks, and stuffs the socks into his mouth before beginning to tie his hands behind him.

"Lead the way, Donnie."

((It strikes me that we could probably make this official -- do you want Donnie to have an airship? Happy to contribute some notoriety for it.))

[purplexing]

Donnie wrinkles his snout, stepping back. He looks decidedly less and less impressed by the 'valuable information' provided, but thankfully for this poor guy, the turtle's not out for blood. That and this guy's just kind of sad.

"Maybe you should go home and rethink your life."

With those parting words, he nods at Shu, turning back towards the opening out to the pasture. His stomach's been holding up pretty well but he'd rather have a fresh breath of air- even if it is slightly cow-scented.

((OOC: Oooh... Something for transport and not for battle would be nice....))

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu hopes that there are no wet spots ruining her nice clothing and also that Donnie does not look too closely to see if there are any wet spots in the first place. The gibbering Joe is gently nudged into a corner as she tries to exit gracefully.

"How should we approach? Eliminate the enemy? Lure them off the ship with a distraction?"

Shu hasn't the slightest idea how to pilot an airship. She is hoping, from Donnie's eagerness, that he does.

((Yeah, let me know! And gonna head to bed for the night!))

[purplexing]

For his part, Donnie is pointedly trying to ignore that wetness and therefore isn't looking for any to have plagued poor Shu.

"We'll need to see how many we're dealing with. Luring them off the ship would only be a temporary solution, and I'm not sure how complicated it will be to get the ship moving- more so if it's still in the middle of repairs." He makes a face. "If we can't subdue them, elimination might have to be the route we go."

((OOC: o/ Hmm would it be the price of the air sloop? I have enough for one but I was saving up for an armor XD))

[singlemilletgrain]

"I am beginning to get rope burn from tying so many people up."

This is likely a joke, though it is as straight-laced as her usual tone of voice. Shu follows behind Donnie back out the Death Chamber and around towards the gated metal staircase leading up to the catwalk.

"I imagine there will be something on the order of ten crew members, judging from the size of the ship. If we assume the worst case - that the two we dealt with were the animal wranglers and separate from the crew, we'll need to be prepared for overwhelming numbers. It may still be easier if we somehow distract them - or bait them in some manner instead of raising the alarm."

((Yeah, probably something like that? No worries if you'd rather not!))

[purplexing]

"Ten... Might be manageable. The ship's small but still big enough to spread people out. Maybe we can pick them off one by one." Donnie smiles.

"Father taught us how to be quiet and how to hide in shadow. Once we get up there, I'll scout around, see how things look." He pauses, glancing back towards the field. "Hopefully no one's thought to look out that way, but at least the cattle are hiding the bodies pretty well."

((If it is, I think I should still have something left and I don't mind having something to keep working towards it. He can still scare Shu by having her watch him practice piloting in the captured armors they have >8D So if we can get a confirmation on cost, I'm game!))

[singlemilletgrain]

((oh no I wrote a response to this two days ago but it seems to have gotten eaten sorry! please enjoy this crappier version of the comment i originally wrote because I can't exactly remember what it said))

"I'll be relying on you to scout, then. But please, don't engage them on your own."

For that seems like exactly the kind of thing that might happen. Shu gives a slight nod as her eyes slide back in the direction of the cows briefly. From her perspective, it appears that the cows are currently stomping on the bodies and possibly one of them is urinating. She decides that this is probably all part of the circle of life, or something. Anyway, there are more urgent matters to attend to.

The padlock on the gate is quickly dealt with - Donnie presumably has some experience with finagling these kinds of things, and if all else fails, Shu will bash it with her gui scepter a few times. Regardless, they are soon on their way... whereupon Shu quickly discovers that she is going to need to rely on Donnie more than she thought. The steel stairs clank terribly with each step, and she slows to a crawl, gently placing her foot down before transferring her weight to minimize the noise. Donnie might consequently pull ahead.

Or pull back, depending. For on the rooftop, directly facing the top of the stairs at the foot of the walkway up into the airship stands a posted sentry. They appear to be staring off into space and whistling to pass the time, but still, the location is inconvenient.

((re: the notoriety stuff, ok if you decide you want that I'm happy to contribute half! Do you want to ask for that as Donnie's reward for the thread?))

[purplexing]

((Oh no! DW being sneaky again!))

"Only if it's unavoidable," Donnie says, but he nods back. Should he be concerned that he can't really see the slight clearing that they'd left the unconscious workers? ...nah.

Locks aren't a problem at all, and it's quite clear that the turtlekin has done this sort of thing before. They're like puzzles, after all, although this padlock isn't particularly difficult and hardly takes half a minute to open.

Up and up they go, Donnie moving swift and silent like the shadows he said he's been trained to hide in. He slows a little, shoulders tensing at the sounds behind him, figuring perhaps by the time she makes it up, he can be done with his scouting. That is until he sees the sentry. Ah, what a pain.

Donnie holds a hand out behind him in case Shu's paying attention, a halting gesture before he turns to look back at her and point out what he'd seen. This puts a bit of a damper on moving ahead, and it makes it particularly difficult to see who else might be about. He skulks along the stairs just a little higher, hand fumbling around in his belt pouch before he pulls out a bolt. It's a standard thing used in most types of machinery, and he rolls it around between his forefinger and thumb before palming it and flinging it high up past the roof's edge, counting on the drop to be somewhere behind the guard and hopefully with enough of a sound to draw their attention so he can make his move.

((Yeah, let's do it!))

[singlemilletgrain]

Whistling rather jauntily and occasionally interspersing with tuneless singing, the guard is halfway through a high-note when the discordant clink of metal draws his attention.

"Hm?"

It's just a turn of the head - he truly doesn't seem invested enough in this job to do much more than that, but perhaps it offers Donnie an opening. Down below, Shu currently seems to be practicing for a job as a slow-motion mime as she freezes with one foot about to land on the next step.

((Ok, I asked for permission in the player plot I originally submitted!))

[purplexing]

It's all Donnie needs. One moment he's leaning forward on the steps and in the next he seems to have teleported to the top of the step. A brief, eerie shadow appears at the sentry's shoulder before hands snake out to put him on an early shift break.

The turtlekin lowers him slowly to the floor as he looks around, ready to move if it turns out there's others on duty in the near vicinity.

[singlemilletgrain]

((Mods say it's fine!))

Doesn't Donnie feel bad about annihilating the joy of a carefree young person living in the moment, seeking fulfillment in the simple act of allowing music to resonate through his soul?

Anyway, whether he does or not, the sentry is forgotten like a sack of potatoes as the vicious turtlekin stalks his next target. There is no one else - with this relatively small airship and crew, they don't really need more than one person posted outside.

Meanwhile, Shu takes the cessation of whistling as a good sign and cautiously speeds up her pace.

The walkway leading up onto the deck of the ship awaits Donnie. No one else seems to be above deck at the moment, which is a pro in that there's no one who can spot him but a con in that the remainder are concealed in areas that are much more difficult to stay unseen - tight hallways and cramped quarters.

[purplexing]

((WOO!))

...not particularly. Maybe it's just not his brand of music.

Donnie skulks along until he gets to the walkway. He glances back just to check where Shu is before he heads across, still keeping low, as though being low to the floor makes him blend in. Which...wouldn't be a bad tactic if his pancake shell only blended in with the surface below him.

The ship's small in comparison to the ones he's been used to, but he figures the areas are the same and something like this will be built for more practicality. It doesn't take him long to do a sweep of the main deck, intending to make sure it's clear before he heads inside.

[singlemilletgrain]

It's all clear.

There is the doorway leading into the crew quarters and the engine area, of course, as well as a set of stairs leading down into the cargo hold. From the... distinct smell of livestock wafting up from the latter, it seems clear what was recently down there. There is a distant clanking of boots on metal coming from beyond the stairs if he listens closely. The door to the crew quarters is too well constructed to betray much sound.

Shu has made it up to the top by now and gingerly steps over the sentry. True to her word, she will trust Donnie to perform the scouting. In the meantime, she will take care that the man cannot be a nuisance even if he should happen to awake.

"...He was very off-tune..."