Player Plot: How to Get Away With Moo-der

[singlemilletgrain]

Who: Shu, cows, and you
What: Udder cowtastrophe
Where: Farmlands outside of Elysium
When: Mid-month
Warnings: Animal cruelty



As the farmer plods away to resume tending his fields, Shu shakes her head with a frown and addresses her companion. "That is the fourth farmer this week to report a missing herd of livestock. These aren't small losses, either. It is unimaginable that they simply vanished off the face of the earth."

Not coincidentally, Shu is currently seated atop her own oxen, who is placidly chewing on some grains underfoot.

"Let us examine the pasture. He said there were numerous markings he could not make sense of. These disappearances will be catastrophic for the small farmer if they continue and have a lasting ripple effect on the supply chain of meat. Not just for the Corsairs."

She nudges He Sheng with her ankles.

Comments

[newmemorywhodis]

Link nods, with an air of intense focus. Link knows what they need to do. They need to be silent, and sneaky. They need to stay out of sight, and watch without being noticed. He and Shu just need to crouch down, where the grasses will hide them, and...

...and then Link's eyes drift over to Shu's oxen. Her very large, very noticeable oxen.

He glances back at Shu, now looking faintly stumped. How are they going to hide that?

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu looks at Link quizzically.

He Sheng looks at Link plaintively.

"..."


They both stare at Link for the duration of a few moments as a chill, awkward breeze carrying a single wilted leaf spirals by.

"................I suppose He Sheng will have to go back to the pasture."

The ox sniffs audibly.

[singlemilletgrain]

"Let's draw closer," Shu suggests as her gaze turns to the building. "And take a survey of possible entry points."

As they circle the area, it becomes clear that this is meant to be a fairly low visibility operation. There are no signs or external indications of what the building is meant to be used for; presumably, no one is ever too interested in visiting a meat production plant. Consequently, the points of interest are few. There is a loading dock on the right side for vehicles and a main entrance for workers that seems to be relatively well-secured. In the back with the large holding pen and a few barn-style structures, there is an entry point for the cattle to presumably be processed.

There are large, square, utilitarian windows set at regular intervals. The building itself is composed of some hybrid of metal and brick. There is a clear division and a small gap in the structure connected by several walkways, to which Shu considers, "The rear side is probably refrigerated."

In regards to the roof on which the airship is perched, there is a catwalk and a set of stairs leading up, currently locked behind a gate.

[purplexing]

It's the strangest building Donnie's ever seen. He might have been more interested if not for its clear intent given all the cattle.

He grins a bit at the way up to the roof, pointing. The gate won't be a problem, at least.

"Hm. Should we get a closer look at where they're keeping the cattle? We should probably see if they've got everyone out in the pen or if there are more in the barns." That might complicate trying to free them unless the workers decide they'd be inclined to help.

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu nods in affirmation. This is, after all, the main reason for her interest here. As she leads the way back behind the building once more, keeping a wide berth, she quietly gestures for Donnie to look. Two workers have just exited from the rear, holding baton-shaped objects. Likely a cattle prod.

The herd in the back is comprised of approximately 50 adult cows, displaying considerable signs of stress. As they watch, the workers call out to their colleagues and gesture for them to begin rounding up the cattle.

It's not entirely clear yet if the barns are occupied. But it certainly does seem as if the slaughterhouse employees have no particular qualms about carrying out their duties.

[purplexing]

Uh-oh. Donnie glances around anxiously before looking to Shu. Looks like they might have to secure the cattle first before the ship, or they might just end up with less cattle to bring back.

"It's just two out there. We can use the cows for cover and knock them out or something, can't we?"

[newmemorywhodis]

Alas, if only either of them had the ability to make oxen invisible.

But since they don't, they'll have to settle for the old-fashioned way. So while He Sheng is sent back to the pasture, Link crouches down low in the grass. Then, once Shu is ready, he'll head off towards the people he says.

He moves slow, and quiet. He might not have his stealthy Sheikah armour, but that doesn't mean Link can't move quietly on his own. As long as he's careful not to get too close, and to stay out of sight, they should be fine.

[singlemilletgrain]

He Sheng's sorrowful and much-maligned figure fades away into the distance after Shu heaps praise and affection upon her cow. Shu could never be called 'grouchy,' but there is a faint air of petulance conveyed by her facial expressions for a few moments after He Sheng disappears.

...Just a few moments, though.

Then she follows after Link, doing a significantly worse job at staying stealthy given that she has never had much cause to practice this skill. Still, she has the presence of mind, skirt the path widely and keep to the cover on the sides of the road. They progress like this for about five minutes before there is the distinctive sound of footsteps and voices coming from up ahead.

"...on't see... all the fuss is... single cow..."

"...leave behind... tracks straight back..."

[singlemilletgrain]

She hesitates for only a moment before nodding. Loath as she is to edge closer to the possibility of bloodshed, there's no telling what will happen if they allow the herd to be brought inside the building. She flashes Donnie a somewhat playful smile as she undoes a clasp and fetches something attached to her back.

"I am prepared this time." A hearty thanks to Link for some basic shield training. "I'll cut off their entry point into the building."

Without further ado, Shu begins to circle around, keeping low to the ground as the two workers deal with the milling cows.

[newmemorywhodis]

When they hear the sounds of voices, Link stills immediately - and gestures towards Shu, indicating that she too should stop.

And then, he listens. A single cow? But the farmer had lost an entire herd. Had these people found He Sheng's tracks somehow?

Staying very, very quiet, he shifts forward slightly. He wants to hear better. And perhaps if he can catch sight of them through the grass, he'll get a read on how many of them there are.

[singlemilletgrain]

Conscious that she is significantly worse at this than Link, Shu stays put and allows him to perform the reconnaissance. As he crawls through the grass, he will spot three solders in Imperial uniform conversing and approaching.

"...a normal cow, anyway."

"Freaky thing had some kind of growth hormone deal going on."

"I don't care what it looks like. Again: who cares about one escaped cow?"

Conveniently, the three soldiers stop at this point so their conversation is clear. Less conveniently, they begin to fan out in what is obviously a (somewhat reluctant and not very well performed) search for tracks along the ground.

"Tracks went this way. Boss says it could tip off the local farmers where we are if it goes home."

"Reaaaally don't think cows are that smart."

As they talk, they start to circle outwards.

[purplexing]

The turtlekin's own smile is tight, but this shouldn't be anything like their infiltration on that airship. Nodding, he watches her head off for a moment before turning to weave his own way towards the herd.

Hopefully they won't have any problems, but with luck these people aren't trained soldiers and strictly meant to handle livestock.

...wow but that is a lot of cow. Maybe now's not the time to realize this is the first he's ever been surrounded by so many creatures that weren't fish.

[newmemorywhodis]

At this point, Link lets them pull ahead, the distance between the soldiers and Link and Shu widening.

"They lost a cow," he whispers to her, once they're far enough away that there's no risk of them overhearing. "Think they stole them."

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu clasps her hands together and beams at this good news, though Link might find this a bit of an overreaction to a single saved cow.

"Then we must locate it before they do. Perhaps it can help us."

She does seem to have a fairly good rapport with animals, even if, as the soldiers say, cows are not the most intelligent creatures.

"Where do they think it's gone?"

[singlemilletgrain]

As Donnie begins to infiltrate the herd, his presence does not go unnoticed. The immediate lowing of alarm, however, is hardly discernable from the overall distressed noises that the herd is making in response to being poked and prodded. Given that some of them attempt to kick him, though, this excursion is probably not endearing him much to our bovine friends.

On Shu's end, she creeps along the fence before slipping in using the same technique she had used on the airship to teleport the soldiers in the hallway. She reappears close to the entrance to the processing line, keeping an eye on Donnie's whereabouts.

Though it's hard to make eye contact at this distance, when she judges that they are in position, she gives a nod. Then stands and throws her baton as a spinning rod at the head of the nearest worker.

[purplexing]

No amount of training ever implied that he'd be using it to avoid being kicked by cattle! "Oh keep it down already!" he hisses under his breath at the growing lows of agitation, but it's only when one meaty leg tries snapping out that he really starts to take personal offense. Donnie has to stare a moment, quickly reminding himself that it is pointless to start anything with a cow, and anyway, he has more important matters to tend to!

Quick on his feet and thankfully so, the turtlekin manages to avoid further violent responses with only a few close calls. He doesn't feel so bad about using a cow as a mounting block after all that, vaulting off its back to launch himself at the other worker to take them out from behind.

[newmemorywhodis]

"They're following tracks," Link whispers. So if they follow the three, they could find the lost cow.

But then...who says they need to follow behind at all?

"...I can take them," he says. There were only three of them, after all. If Shu says the word, he will.

[singlemilletgrain]

The cows have no such qualms about starting things with strange green creatures trying to infiltrate their herd, but the agitated creatures will, at least, avoid trampling him. They do eventually move away, leaving a bit of an open path for Donnie to navigate - and for him to stand out.

"Eh -- "

The one closer to Shu, coincidentally, turns in that direction a second before the spinning baton smashes him in the head. The sharp grunt catches the second worker's attention, spinning him around and leaving his back exposed for Donnie to land precisely on his back. Shu, having rushed forward with her shield the moment she threw her rod, sets upon her target and quickly stuffs a wad of plant debris into his mouth as a gag, pulling his arms up behind him.

[singlemilletgrain]

"Hm."

She considers briefly before she gives a slight nod.

"We will take them," she responds, with the slightest emphasis on the first word. She is not letting Link place himself in danger alone, not after seeking his help on a mission that was much more personally important to her. She withdraws her weapon, an object vaguely shaped like a baton, and unclasps the shield at her back - the same one she had used with Link in training.

[purplexing]

Wow, that could've been embarrassing.

Donnie's saved the experience, landing forcefully enough to pitch the other worker flat on his face. He makes a quick move to subdue them before they recover, then grins over at Shu now that he has a clear view of her, giving a thumbs-up.

Like as they'd have to deal with whoever's inside next, if they're waiting for the cows to be mooved.

[newmemorywhodis]

Link shrugs. Well, if Shu wants to help...sure. Why not?

And seeing no reason to wait any longer, he draws his own weapon, and launches the attack. But it's not his sword he starts off with - it's his bow, and one of the Dazzlefruit that Shu herself as grown for him.

Swifting fusing the glittering fruit to the tip of his arrow, he aims towards the soldier in the center - and fires. As the arrow his its mark, a cloud of bright, glittering dust fills the air - blinding anyone caught in the cloud.

And it's with that advantage that Link darts forward from the grass, now swapping the bow for his sword and shield as he strikes with a wide swing of the blade.

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu doesn't have rope handy, but there's more than one way to utilize 'super plant growth.' The vines she uses to tie her victim are secure enough that she feels they will hold for the duration of their quest. Panting slightly in exertion, she moves to join Donnie.

"That went s-moo-thly."

(Two can play at that game.)

The cows have begun to calm down as they congregate. They seem to sense that the source of their pain has been removed, and that these two newcomers are responsible. One of them, of course, tentatively begins to try to lick Donnie from behind.

"Up to the airship or inside?"

[singlemilletgrain]

"Ah -- "

She thought he said they were supposed to be eaten! But no -- of course, this was the same technique he had used on Terra. She simply hadn't connected it to the fruits she was cultivating. Fascinating -- horticulture and weapon of war all in one glittering, beautiful combo. (...Do these grant higher damage in... blinding sun?)

Still, she recovers from her surprise quickly enough. She doesn't wish for Link to, ah... permanently maim or decapitate anyone if possible, and she makes a strong effort to knock out the closest one with her heavy scepter as he staggers around blind. Link's horizontal swing causes one to go reeling back with a slice to the abdomen while the other is more prudent and dives to the ground the moment the Dazzlefruit explodes.

None of them are exactly in a position to counter, though the one who escaped the blade seems to be trying to reach for something...

"A flare!"

[purplexing]

Donnie gives her an obligatory groan at that, unable to ignore the pang of nostalgia for the reminder of one of his brothers. Leo certainly wouldn't have passed up any chance to drop a terrible pun or a joke.

He's not quite sure he's thankful for the form of distraction it comes in, shuddering at the wetness suddenly applied to him. "Eeeugh, whyyy?" he grimaces, scrambling away from the cow and closer to Shu.

Trying to get a good look past the forest of cattle limbs, the turtlekin considers. "Inside. Let's see if there's any more. And if there isn't, maybe we can set the place on fire as a distraction." There might have been just the slightest hint of a manic grin as he makes that suggestion.

[newmemorywhodis]

(Oddly enough, Dazzlefruit didn't have any particular special effect when cooked. It made dishes look a little sparkly, but that was it.)

With one blind and staggering, and another knocked silly by Shu's heavy scepter, Link's focus shifts entirely to the third one. But he's too far away to easily intercept, so once more his sword is swapped out for his bow.

This time, it's a Shock Fruit he fuses to the arrow - and aims right at the hand fumbling for the flare. And when it hits, the fruit releases a burst of electricity, shocking the hapless thief - and making him drop anything in his hands as he is momentarily paralysed.

It won't last forever. After a few seconds, the thief will return to normal. But that's more than enough time for Link to get in real close - and press his blade against the thief’s neck.