Player Plot: How to Get Away With Moo-der

[singlemilletgrain]

Who: Shu, cows, and you
What: Udder cowtastrophe
Where: Farmlands outside of Elysium
When: Mid-month
Warnings: Animal cruelty



As the farmer plods away to resume tending his fields, Shu shakes her head with a frown and addresses her companion. "That is the fourth farmer this week to report a missing herd of livestock. These aren't small losses, either. It is unimaginable that they simply vanished off the face of the earth."

Not coincidentally, Shu is currently seated atop her own oxen, who is placidly chewing on some grains underfoot.

"Let us examine the pasture. He said there were numerous markings he could not make sense of. These disappearances will be catastrophic for the small farmer if they continue and have a lasting ripple effect on the supply chain of meat. Not just for the Corsairs."

She nudges He Sheng with her ankles.

Comments

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu proceeds to sit on her soldier and begin to tie back his hands with some vine that begins to sprout rapidly out of the ground. Though blinded and paralyzed, the victim of Link's various status ailments can still recognize the cold touch of steel against his skin and instantly freezes. ...Or at least he would, if he weren't in the midst of vibrating uncontrollably from the voltage surging through his muscles and nerves.

"W-Who are you?! Y-Y-You a-are interfering w-w-with the ... E-Empire!"

The paralysis fades away. Behind Link, the one he had slashed clutches his abdominal wound and seems to be considering the pros and cons of jumping on Link vs. running away as little sprouts begin to curl under his feet.

[singlemilletgrain]

"They like you."

Soon Donnie will be accepted as an honorary cowkin. There is a bit of shuffling as the various cows begin to form a sort of semi-circle around their two saviors, and if Donnie doesn't allow a little 'aww' to escape when a tiny calf pops its head out from the circle to gaze up at him with adoring, enormous soft eyes, he does not deserve the title of Libullerator. (That is their title now.)

"No fire."

...

"One fire. A small one. We can't just leave a whole building burning in the middle of grassy farmland."

It's irresponsible. Shu gives the calf a little pat before taking up her scepter and shield once more. They should probably hurry. Eventually, someone will notice something is wrong.

The entry for cow-processing is... grim. As they make their way inside, they will be met with stark fluorescent lights and what amounts to a chute that eventually narrows into a one-cow path. A large steel grate is drawn down over this path blocking entrance to the next room... though it coincidentally begins to raise as they enter.

Shu glances around for somewhere to hide.

...There isn't really anything suitable, given this is a... road to death.

[newmemorywhodis]

Link considers the accusation. And then says, blasé and unconcerned, "Yup."

And then he kick's at the soldier's feet, bringing him crashing down to the ground. He shifts, sword still pointing at his now prone enemy, so he can keep an eye on him and the one with the wound to the gut at the same time.

As they consider the pros and cons of trying to jump Link, Link stares back. He says nothing, and his expression doesn't change, but the challenge is there.

Does the soldier really think they can take Link?

[purplexing]

"Do they have to be so wet about it?" Donnie huffs. He blinks in surprise at the miniature cow that appears (baby, it's a baby, Donnie), taking a moment to process this phenomenon. Unfortunately he's not the sort to 'aww' at anything, that is majorly a Mikey thing, but he at the very least offers a very awkward head pat.

He almost pouts as his fire plan is shut down, but a small fire is better than none, and he supposes it wouldn't do to cause something so big that it might spread outwards, so he nods his agreement there.

Once they're inside, he almost regrets it. It's really creepy in here, more so when you know what this place means for cattle. As the grate begins to rise, Donnie gasps, also casting a quick look around before he grabs Shu's hand to pull her towards the grate itself, meaning to jump up onto it and catch a lift.

[singlemilletgrain]

The world may never know what direction the soldier was leaping. For when their feet leave the ground, the little sprouts tug at their boots and they come crashing to earth before they've even made it an inch. Shu quietly gets to work tying the remaining two.

"Cooperate. We are seeking the livestock you stole. One way or another, we will track them down. Where did you take them?"

The three soldiers exchange mutinous glances and do not seem particularly forthcoming.

"If you don't -- "

Shu is cut off by a reverberating, not-so-distant bellows as of a great beast. Her head whirls in surprise.

[singlemilletgrain]

This is a better plan than anything Shu thought of in the last five microseconds, although she's not entirely convinced it's a good plan. Still, there is no helping it. Stepping up her pace, she leaps alongside Donnie to cling to the metal grate as it ratchets upwards. There isn't much by the way of handholds - she finds herself clinging with all four limbs as if she were some sort of poorly evolved gecko.

As the grate slowly grinds to a halt, there is a moment of silence.

"...Where're all the livestock?"

Beneath them, a few workers in smocks peer out through the opening. One carries what looks like a firearm and all three are wearing masks. The thick scent of blood wafts out.

"Maybe they're having trouble herding 'em."

"Probably about as good as herding cows as they are flying airships."

"Shut up, Joe. They're literally right outside."

"I'm just saying. Takes a real genius to overload an ether crystal."

Which just about explains the shards Donnie found earlier.

"If they hear y -- "

The question of what will happen if they hear Joe goes unanswered as Shu's grip loosens and she slides down the grate, landing with a thump on Joe's head and sending his firearm spinning into the corner. The remaining two factory workers shriek.

[purplexing]

Donnie seems more used to clinging to weird places, but it's hard to properly brace yourself on a surface like this, and he doesn't want to risk using his magic to provide them better holds knowing it isn't exactly subtle.

He also tries not to be sick as that all too familiar smell follows the workers. Instead he tries to focus on what they're saying, waiting for a good chance...

Shu beats him to it, whether on purpose or by accident, who knows, but Donnie is quick to follow suit, pushing off slightly so that he can land between the other two workers to deliver silencing blows before they can figure out what's going on.

[singlemilletgrain]

Yes. That was definitely on purpose. Absolutely. It isn't just that she slid down ungracefully as her hands started sweating like a snail oozing down its own secretions. That didn't happen.

Shu looks briefly dazed as Joe yells inarticulately from beneath her voluminous robes. As she struggles into a less vulnerable position, she takes care to keep him pinned down, keeping her weight squarely on his back. The other two workers don't stand a chance as Donnie whips them in the head, sending them crashing to the floor.

"Be quiet. How many more of you are there?"

"H-Hundreds! You'll never get away with... whatever it is you're trying to get away with!"

"...Then you are disposable. We will flay your carcass as an example."

"I-It's just five of us processing people plus the Empire goons. I dunno how many there are but they're upstairs fixing the airship."

[purplexing]

"Hundreds..." Donnie snorts, giving a menacing spin of his staff. He gives a malicious grin to help underline Shu's threat.

"Ah, repairs. How bad was the damage?" Clearly the ship had still been able to fly with its load, but an overloaded ether stone is never any good. He's not sure if this guy knows enough about airships to give a good estimation of the damage, but he'd rather find out such things now than later if possible.

"There any other cattle we should know about that are still alive, or are the herds outside all?"

[singlemilletgrain]

"Uh." For all his criticism of the Empire, Joe does not appear to know much about airships. "Think there was some damage to the engine when the crystal cracked so they went on backup power." This seems to be as specific as he's getting.

"Dude..."

Joe's face pops up from beneath Shu.

"This is a meat processing plant. They're, uh."

He tries to give a shrug with his face that conveys, 'just doing my job' and also 'don't flay my carcass.' Shu sighs lightly.

Now they have returned to ground level, they can see through the opening beyond the grate. It is... relatively clean, although it doesn't seem as if the stains can ever be completely removed. The pathway that the cows are brought down lead to a final, small enclosure, beyond which are many rows of hooks currently absent any carcasses.

"...Last batch's already gone out on the trucks."

[purplexing]

"Hmm." That sounded bad. Donnie can't be sure without having a look himself, but if the ship had only returned recently then engine repairs varied depending on how severe. Running on a backup isn't ideal for long distances, but maybe it would suffice given the size of the ship? So many things to consider...

His attention is pulled back to Joe before drifting down the tunnel of death, brow furrowing at this latest bit of information. Well, there's nothing to be done for that... He looks back towards Shu.

"Let's take care of him and then get ourselves an airship."

[singlemilletgrain]

"W-W-WAIT!"

It is possible Shu is feeling some liquid seeping out from beneath her, which she tries very hard to ignore. (She does bunch up her clothing a little bit.)

"I-I... I have v-valuable information! I, uh... I know -- who, uh. The sixth Emperor's favorite concubine was and -- the only state in the southern continent that has the letter Q and -- I have a family! ...I mean, it's my mom and dad; I'm not married, but I could be there's this girl at this bakery and she has brown hair and she -- she doesn't know my name yet but sometimes I think she looks at me for a little longer than --"

"O...kay."

Shu leans over, removes his shoes and socks, and stuffs the socks into his mouth before beginning to tie his hands behind him.

"Lead the way, Donnie."

((It strikes me that we could probably make this official -- do you want Donnie to have an airship? Happy to contribute some notoriety for it.))

[purplexing]

Donnie wrinkles his snout, stepping back. He looks decidedly less and less impressed by the 'valuable information' provided, but thankfully for this poor guy, the turtle's not out for blood. That and this guy's just kind of sad.

"Maybe you should go home and rethink your life."

With those parting words, he nods at Shu, turning back towards the opening out to the pasture. His stomach's been holding up pretty well but he'd rather have a fresh breath of air- even if it is slightly cow-scented.

((OOC: Oooh... Something for transport and not for battle would be nice....))

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu hopes that there are no wet spots ruining her nice clothing and also that Donnie does not look too closely to see if there are any wet spots in the first place. The gibbering Joe is gently nudged into a corner as she tries to exit gracefully.

"How should we approach? Eliminate the enemy? Lure them off the ship with a distraction?"

Shu hasn't the slightest idea how to pilot an airship. She is hoping, from Donnie's eagerness, that he does.

((Yeah, let me know! And gonna head to bed for the night!))

[purplexing]

For his part, Donnie is pointedly trying to ignore that wetness and therefore isn't looking for any to have plagued poor Shu.

"We'll need to see how many we're dealing with. Luring them off the ship would only be a temporary solution, and I'm not sure how complicated it will be to get the ship moving- more so if it's still in the middle of repairs." He makes a face. "If we can't subdue them, elimination might have to be the route we go."

((OOC: o/ Hmm would it be the price of the air sloop? I have enough for one but I was saving up for an armor XD))

[newmemorywhodis]

Those grasping sprites get a curious look from Link. So useful! Shu was a handy person to have around.

But then the still quiet is interrupted by a roar, and his head snaps towards it.

Was that one of the creatures they took?!

If it was, they didn't have time anymore. He shifts the sword in his grip, and then brings the hilt of it down - hard - on the head of the soldier before him, knocking him out.

And then runs towards the sound of the beast.

[singlemilletgrain]

"I am beginning to get rope burn from tying so many people up."

This is likely a joke, though it is as straight-laced as her usual tone of voice. Shu follows behind Donnie back out the Death Chamber and around towards the gated metal staircase leading up to the catwalk.

"I imagine there will be something on the order of ten crew members, judging from the size of the ship. If we assume the worst case - that the two we dealt with were the animal wranglers and separate from the crew, we'll need to be prepared for overwhelming numbers. It may still be easier if we somehow distract them - or bait them in some manner instead of raising the alarm."

((Yeah, probably something like that? No worries if you'd rather not!))

[purplexing]

"Ten... Might be manageable. The ship's small but still big enough to spread people out. Maybe we can pick them off one by one." Donnie smiles.

"Father taught us how to be quiet and how to hide in shadow. Once we get up there, I'll scout around, see how things look." He pauses, glancing back towards the field. "Hopefully no one's thought to look out that way, but at least the cattle are hiding the bodies pretty well."

((If it is, I think I should still have something left and I don't mind having something to keep working towards it. He can still scare Shu by having her watch him practice piloting in the captured armors they have >8D So if we can get a confirmation on cost, I'm game!))

[singlemilletgrain]

"Ah -- !"

Link is significantly faster than Shu because he has a stamina bar - and her first instinct isn't to run, either way. She stands and hesitates briefly, eventually deciding to stoop down and check one last time to make sure the cords are secure before following. By this time, he has gained some distance.

It's difficult to identify the source of the sound exactly. It seems to echo across the fields - and in the distance, there comes the pounding of hooves reverberating through the earth. As he sprints through the grass, he comes up against a few possible paths. Cutting directly in the direction of where he thinks the sound is coming from would mean breaking through some brush and thickets. It is possible to go around, though it detours and meanders down a cliff. The other direction around is thickening forest and doesn't seem too promising.

[newmemorywhodis]

Link doesn't care about breaking through the brush and thickets. He can take a few scratches. And where the brush is too thick, he'll draw his sword and start cutting a path.

It does slow him down a little. Perhaps Shu will be able to catch up, at that point. He does glance back, looking to see how far behind him she is.

He doesn't plan to go and just leave her behind, after all.

But at long as she's not too far back, he'll keep pressing on.

[singlemilletgrain]

Shu is chugging along in the distance when he glances back, and though it doesn't appear as if running is one of her strengths, she seems to be keeping pace without being completely left behind. As if to emphasize the urgency of whatever is happening, another deep bellows sounds from beyond the thickets.

The way is slow-going, with grasping branches and thorny bushes. Link may have to physically cut a path as he progresses, but it seems this is the right direction, for the sounds of the hooves become more apparent as he goes. As Link breaks through the last of the shrubbery, he may need to catch himself (literally) before falling off the edge of a short cliff about twenty feet high.

Below, the ground has transitioned to fields once more, and he is overlooking a wide, flat area that stretches out towards the horizon. He will spot the obvious source of the sound almost immediately - a herd of about 50 cows off in the distance, perhaps several thousand feet away, stampeding his direction. At their head is an unusual looking ox, brilliant white with curving horns. The source of their consternation is less visible.

...Are those... tanks?

[newmemorywhodis]

Fortunately, Link managed not to go head-over-heels over the cliff. Which is a good thing, seeing as he doesn't (yet) have his paraglider back.

But with the fall averted, Link takes a moment to pause - and look out over the scene before him.

Link's never seen a tank before. But he's seen - and made - all sorts of wheel-based ultrahand contraptions, some of which were rather tank-like. And most of which had also been used to murder large numbers of monsters.

So...maybe these were machines meant to murder cows?

At this point though, both cows and any vehicular murder machines are still too far away for Link to do anything to help. And...he really doesn't know that much about cows. So he gives another glance back towards Shu, in case she has any insights.

[singlemilletgrain]

((oh no I wrote a response to this two days ago but it seems to have gotten eaten sorry! please enjoy this crappier version of the comment i originally wrote because I can't exactly remember what it said))

"I'll be relying on you to scout, then. But please, don't engage them on your own."

For that seems like exactly the kind of thing that might happen. Shu gives a slight nod as her eyes slide back in the direction of the cows briefly. From her perspective, it appears that the cows are currently stomping on the bodies and possibly one of them is urinating. She decides that this is probably all part of the circle of life, or something. Anyway, there are more urgent matters to attend to.

The padlock on the gate is quickly dealt with - Donnie presumably has some experience with finagling these kinds of things, and if all else fails, Shu will bash it with her gui scepter a few times. Regardless, they are soon on their way... whereupon Shu quickly discovers that she is going to need to rely on Donnie more than she thought. The steel stairs clank terribly with each step, and she slows to a crawl, gently placing her foot down before transferring her weight to minimize the noise. Donnie might consequently pull ahead.

Or pull back, depending. For on the rooftop, directly facing the top of the stairs at the foot of the walkway up into the airship stands a posted sentry. They appear to be staring off into space and whistling to pass the time, but still, the location is inconvenient.

((re: the notoriety stuff, ok if you decide you want that I'm happy to contribute half! Do you want to ask for that as Donnie's reward for the thread?))

[singlemilletgrain]

It takes her a few minutes, but Shu eventually appears, huffing slightly as she -- also barely avoids running off the edge of a cliff.

"Gyak -- "

And thus does Link hear the most undignified noise Shu has yet to make in this world. Coughing somewhat as she regains control of herself, she holds on to a tree trunk hanging out into space and gazes out into the distance.

"What in Terra...?"

The herd has drawn closer. As have the vehicles chasing, and they appear to be long, metal... trailers outfitted with weaponry and enormous tires. As Shu squints, she seems to make some connections.

"Ah. Those are transport vehicles for livestock! Look, some of them are damaged in the back. Those cows must have broken free somehow."

[purplexing]

((Oh no! DW being sneaky again!))

"Only if it's unavoidable," Donnie says, but he nods back. Should he be concerned that he can't really see the slight clearing that they'd left the unconscious workers? ...nah.

Locks aren't a problem at all, and it's quite clear that the turtlekin has done this sort of thing before. They're like puzzles, after all, although this padlock isn't particularly difficult and hardly takes half a minute to open.

Up and up they go, Donnie moving swift and silent like the shadows he said he's been trained to hide in. He slows a little, shoulders tensing at the sounds behind him, figuring perhaps by the time she makes it up, he can be done with his scouting. That is until he sees the sentry. Ah, what a pain.

Donnie holds a hand out behind him in case Shu's paying attention, a halting gesture before he turns to look back at her and point out what he'd seen. This puts a bit of a damper on moving ahead, and it makes it particularly difficult to see who else might be about. He skulks along the stairs just a little higher, hand fumbling around in his belt pouch before he pulls out a bolt. It's a standard thing used in most types of machinery, and he rolls it around between his forefinger and thumb before palming it and flinging it high up past the roof's edge, counting on the drop to be somewhere behind the guard and hopefully with enough of a sound to draw their attention so he can make his move.

((Yeah, let's do it!))