乙巳 006: 立秋

[singlemilletgrain]

[video]
[It's time for another Yanese fes -- Hm. Wait.]

Hello, Corsairs.

[The image of Shu has some... alterations from its usual appearance. One arm is in a sling and bandages run up the length of the visible skin.]

It is time to begin the harvest. This year, I humbly request your assistance with this task. I am experiencing some physical limitations at the moment.

[Anyone more than casually familiar with Shu may find this a bit odd, given she is a highly proficient healer.]

If you are willing, please stop by the fields in Vault at your convenience. ...I will feed you, of course.

[harvest 1]
[After running through the general idea of how to operate the oxen and the thresher, Shu gently encourages you to go ahead with a pat on the back. It probably goes fairly well at first. Perhaps even for a significant length of time. ...And then, for some reason, one of the plants you run the thresher over explodes???, violently spooking the oxen until you find yourself directing two runaway beasts headed straight into the cavern wall of the Vault.]

Oh, dear. I forgot I was growing those Bomb Plants... Ah, please do aim away from the wall.

[She sounds very calm about this despite that you're headed for rocky death.]

[harvest 2]
[Both you and Shu are holding a sickle. Shu demonstrates the correct hand motion for you to mimic, after which she gives an approving nod.]

In Dahuang, we sing during the harvest times to make the work go faster. ~ Ti oh oh, bei lok ho ~ ...

Here, teach me a song from your world and we shall reap the wheat together.

[harvest 3]
[Where is the ultra fancy feast?? As Shu brings out the food, it is perhaps a little disappointing that it is a simple meal of rice gruel and vegetables. Perhaps it is her injury. But perhaps not? She explains as she doles out a bowl.]

Please, have a seat and take a break.

This is the traditional meal the farmers eat at lunchtime. It is nutritious and hearty, made from the same crops you are harvesting right this moment. Let us share this time together. Tell me, how did you fare on this last mission?

Comments

[singlemilletgrain]

Oh, you need not be concerned over something like that. Why, something as simple as a large X will suffice for this.

My healing shall return to me in due time -- I was targeted by a specific kind of ether in the previous battle that suppressed my power. A bit like a seal. I find it... an interesting experience, to be honest.

[She seems to be taking this fairly in stride, but then, it is rare to see Shu express anxiety about much of anything.]

I have experienced pain and fatigue, of course, but not in this manner before. It is good for me to remember... the lived reality of a natural-born human being, absent any ether, Originium Arts, or abilities beyond the ordinary. When one grows too far from one's origin, one forgets.

[She tilts her head slightly as she considers who she is speaking to.]

...Do you wish for that sort of thing, Atom? To have the experience of a human.

[upupatomway]

[ Atom moves closer to her after patting the oxen one last time.

He can relate to more than one thing she mentions. He's not used to being damaged. Fighting an aerial battle against a fast target would have been far easier and less risky at home.

He wants to ask her what exactly she means about her origins. The question is replaced by a pang of sadness he almost masks completely behind a calm face. ]

Oh. Um.

[ He hesitates at first. He's not used to talking about it. ]

Yes. There are many things about humans I want to understand better. And I would like to grow up, like my human friends have been growing.

[singlemilletgrain]

[Her smile is compassionate. She manages to keep any overtones of sadness from her expression. Such were the consequences of creating something that mimicked life. In many ways, superior, but in the ways that mattered, always simply an imitation.]

You know... the body is important, but the growth of the mind often reflects the largest change. In that regard, at least, you are not at a disadvantage.

It is impossible to understand humans, I have found. [Her smile broadens.] They are so contradictory... and so very difficult to define. One could ask what is the meaning of being human and one might receive a thousand different answers.

Perhaps what matters is that one forms an answer for oneself.

Do you wish to be human, Atom?

[upupatomway]

[ The conversation takes a turn into the familiar. He can think of dozens of similar conversations with other robots, from his sister to passing strangers. Humans are strange. Humans are hard to understand.

He's prepared to answer Shu in a similar way to those conversations. To chat about how he has found it easiest to learn about humans, by imitating them, or referencing things he has learned from spending time with human friends. They're not quite as mysterious as they used to be, to him.

He turns to look at Shu, eyes wide with surprise at the question. The thought brings enough stress to him immediately that there's no hiding the arch of his brow into something sadder. He turns his face away. ]

I'm not supposed to wish to be human.

[singlemilletgrain]

There is no 'supposed to,' Atom.

[She responds softly.]

Are you not a living being with wants and needs? At one point, you were programmed, yes... But I believe it is clear to all that you have far outpaced such programming. Were there directives for being kidnapped into another world? In belonging to a group such as this.

No, there is no 'supposed to' anymore... and so, it is important that you acknowledge for yourself what it is you seek.

I shall tell you a secret.

[Her smile becomes gentler, warmer.]

I share your desire. Like you, it is beyond my capabilities. But you see the form I take? Like you, I, too, model myself after them... Ah! Humanity. It was the gift of one single human who showed me... what a wondrous and strange thing it is to be human. How could one not wish to experience such a thing? There is a magic in the... possibility, though they be so limited by their years and their minds.

We who stand outside of humanity... mourn what we cannot have as we mourn what they cannot see.

[upupatomway]

[ He smiles faintly at her attempt to comfort him, and he grasps a hand to his chest, almost as if he could feel his chest tighten with emotion, as if the mechanical "heart" inside was beating faster. She's missing some important context that makes some of what she says feel more bitter than sweet, but he tries to focus on what she's admitting to him instead; they share the same desire. ]

I imitate their behavior sometimes. It seems to help me understand them more. Like the experience of eating. The more I eat, the better I understand when something is delicious.

When you model yourself after them, do you mean your behavior too? Or did you make your body the way it is too?

[singlemilletgrain]

[She can tell that Atom's heart is pained, still - and of course, she does not expect that a few words of sympathy can lighten the burden of a lifetime of sustained wounds.]

I crafted it.

[She admits without hesitation.]

In the model of a species of people on my world - the Lung race. The Ancient races of Terra derive from what you might be more familiar with as 'animals.' These are the people of the Eastern dragons.

My true form is... well, at the moment, perhaps it is right to say that I do not have a true form. But then, if this is how I prefer to exist and what I have grown used to... perhaps 'true' is not a word that applies at all.

This is the form I have chosen for myself. There are other forms I may take, though I very rarely do so.

When you mimic their behavior, does it bring you satisfaction?

[upupatomway]

Most of the time it does. [ His fist over his chest tightens again. ] Sometimes it painfully reminds me of how I fail to be human instead.

Were you created by someone you can speak to, or for a certain purpose? Robots don't usually choose their own form. We're created by humans, normally to help them in some way.

[ If she can change her form, maybe what she chose to look like didn't get in the way of any purposes given to her. -If that was anywhere near how or why she was brought to life. ]

[singlemilletgrain]

[She tilts her head slightly and furrows her eyebrows.]

Ah, well... Like any metaphor or comparison, the similarity ends at some point. I was not created. [a faint pause] Perhaps it would be more apt to use the term, 'I came into being.' [It is a passive sort of phrase. She was not born or created or formed. She simply came into existence.] In the absence of form and purpose, it was necessary that I choose my own, you see.

And as you are no doubt understanding... such a thing is challenging indeed. It took many, many years...

[upupatomway]

[ If she had come into existence in his world, the scientists would have swarmed her. ]

I think I understand. Has the form you've chosen worked out alright for your- um... journey through life?

[ Picking a form similar to the local people seems like the best choice. But then again he wants to be more human. He's sure other robots would go in the opposite direction, and some had when their rights finally afforded them personal time and alternative body choices for their time away from work. ]

[singlemilletgrain]

I have no regrets.

[Shu responds simply. Her smile betrays no hint of consternation, though she carries over a thousand years of toil with her.]

To live among the people and to share in their joys and their sorrows... Each life a bloom that shines beautifully for the time it is allotted. And as the petals fall away, I am there to hold what remains. And I am there to remember.

Many years ago, I promised someone very dear to me... that I would watch over their beloved people always.

Perhaps one day, Atom, you may find yourself in a position like mine. On that day, I hope that you have sought a life that is yours and yours fully. Not just an imitation... not just what you are supposed to do. You may live for your own sake, even as you dwell with humanity and walk alongside them.

That is... the only guidance I can give.

[upupatomway]

[ It pains him to think about having to watch his human family and friends eventually pass away. He wonders how many generations Shu has lived to see come and go. He hesitates to ask, so he considers her advice instead. ]

Maybe some day. I think the closest I've come to living for myself is right now in this world. At home, there is still the fight for robots to be treated fairly as people. They're relying on me to help bridge the gap between humans and robots. When humans see humanity in me, it is easier for them to see it in other robots. Hopefully I'll live to see the change complete.

[ He realizes his sad tone might be mistaken as both stress over the problem and stress over his role. He smiles slightly, and clarifies. ]

I don't mind the burden though. It gave me a good purpose when I was searching for one.

[ Didn't he just say robots were built with a purpose though? ]