Shu watches this performance with both suitable awe and a lingering feeling of uncertainty. She has definitely not done this all the time. Still, there is no point in being a pseudo-deity if one does not believe in one's ability to slightly manipulate reality to one's favor. So it is that she artistically flips through the air at a time when she can maximize the number of cows beneath her and increase her odds of landing precisely in the correct spot to pull this off.
...
She does not pull this off.
She might have, if her excessively long hair hadn't caught on some of those tree branches sticking out and yanked her backwards, sending her flopping down the side of the cliff instead of gracefully descending from the sky like a bovine goddess. Fortunately, the cliff flattens out vertically into a straight drop shortly after and spares her further indignity as she plummets into the cow herd to be trampled to death under thousands of hooves.
Ah... so the cycle of life continues and the harvest of my soul shall give way to the next generation... In these last moments, I can think only of the words of the famed Yanese poet, Zhang Jiuling, who said, "Circumstance governs destiny; cause and effect are an inf -- "
Her dying thoughts are cut off by a snort of hot breath and a distinct eye roll as the great white ox flies into the air (literally) and catches her before she gets trampled.
Meanwhile, over on the side of the herd with more competent cliff jumpers, Link's cow will find itself deeply alarmed by the sudden weight on its back and moos loudly in consternation. This is fine, as the entire herd is clamoring loudly. Strangely, Link will find that pulling on one horn or another can guide the cow's direction fairly well, even though it seems exceptionally unlikely that this is how cow riding should work.
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Date: 2024-10-24 01:11 am (UTC)Shu watches this performance with both suitable awe and a lingering feeling of uncertainty. She has definitely not done this all the time. Still, there is no point in being a pseudo-deity if one does not believe in one's ability to slightly manipulate reality to one's favor. So it is that she artistically flips through the air at a time when she can maximize the number of cows beneath her and increase her odds of landing precisely in the correct spot to pull this off.
...
She does not pull this off.
She might have, if her excessively long hair hadn't caught on some of those tree branches sticking out and yanked her backwards, sending her flopping down the side of the cliff instead of gracefully descending from the sky like a bovine goddess. Fortunately, the cliff flattens out vertically into a straight drop shortly after and spares her further indignity as she plummets into the cow herd to be trampled to death under thousands of hooves.
Ah... so the cycle of life continues and the harvest of my soul shall give way to the next generation... In these last moments, I can think only of the words of the famed Yanese poet, Zhang Jiuling, who said, "Circumstance governs destiny; cause and effect are an inf -- "
Her dying thoughts are cut off by a snort of hot breath and a distinct eye roll as the great white ox flies into the air (literally) and catches her before she gets trampled.
Meanwhile, over on the side of the herd with more competent cliff jumpers, Link's cow will find itself deeply alarmed by the sudden weight on its back and moos loudly in consternation. This is fine, as the entire herd is clamoring loudly. Strangely, Link will find that pulling on one horn or another can guide the cow's direction fairly well, even though it seems exceptionally unlikely that this is how cow riding should work.