"Used to. I used to love learning new martial arts, new games with the hands and movement and flexibility, picking up a new weapon and figuring out how it is used.

"I used to love playing with the rules and laws of maths, proofs danced in my mind, visual, numeric, geometric, artistic.

"I used to-- To love so much and it--" And then, there is ice. "-- It became part of the mission."